


Survival Instincts

by 221brosiewilde



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/F, Firsts, Fluff and Angst, Pining, ymir is a sad stinky lesbian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-22
Updated: 2016-10-22
Packaged: 2018-08-24 01:50:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8351617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/221brosiewilde/pseuds/221brosiewilde
Summary: Krista is good. She’s simultaneously innocent and full of nerve and it awakens the kind of predatory instincts that Ymir’s been stifling since she crawled back inside the walls.She wants.And if she slides her hand between her thighs some nights and quietly grinds against her palm until the want subsides then at least she’s going about this the same way most humans do.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [vivaforever597](https://archiveofourown.org/users/vivaforever597/gifts).



The first time they meet, Ymir is trying to fight down the swell of emotion swelling in her chest. Everything feels tight inside of her, like there’s not enough room for...whatever the fuck she’s feeling. She can’t name it, not exactly, but it’s not a sad feeling. And it’s certainly  not anger. 

For the first time, she has a  _ bed _ . 

And, unfortunately, a bedmate to go with it.

“Hi.” The girl - short, blonde,  _ cute _ \- holds out her hand and smiles warmly at Ymir. “I’m Krista. I think we’re in the same bunk.”

Ymir stares down at the girl, Krista’s, hand, if only so she won’t have to look at her eyes. They’re very wide and impossibly blue, the brightest thing in the room. They hurt to look at.

“We are,” Ymir says. She takes Krista’s hand, the first human touch she’s consciously sought out in…well, months. Since she came into the walls. “I’m Ymir.”

Krista’s smile widens, making beautifully symmetrical dimples appear. “Ymir,” she says, as if her name is something to be savored as it passes over her tongue. “Nice to meet you.”

Ymir nods. “You too.”

________

Krista is a common presence after that. Of course she is. She sleeps above Ymir every night and every night, after a day of rigorous training which  _ should _ leave her exhausted, she’s left staring up at the wooden slats that support Krista’s bed, full of frustration and…

And.

The problem isn’t that Ymir lacks confidence and it’s certainly not that she’s hesitant. When confidence is the only thing standing in the way of you and your next meal or a safe place to stay for the night, there’s no time to hesitate. You just  _ do _ . She did. She still  _ does.  _

But Krista is good. She’s simultaneously innocent and full of nerve and it awakens the kind of predatory instincts that Ymir’s been stifling since she crawled back inside the walls. 

She  _ wants _ . 

And if she slides her hand between her thighs some nights and quietly grinds against her palm until the want subsides then at least she’s going about this the same way most humans do. 

________

They’re paired up in training a lot because, according to Shadis, they have good chemistry and their height differences even them out. What Krista is able to do with speed and agility, Ymir makes up for in sheer power and ferocity. It’s a good match. Of course that means that they’re constantly together and that comes with its own set of problems.

Ymir tightens the strap on her gear, letting the bite of it digging into her chest ground her. On her right, Krista does the same thing. Nervous habits they’ve learned from each other, from practically living in each other’s pockets for the past six months. 

Ymir looks up at the sky of leaves above them, squints at the bits of sun that manage to peek through where the foliage is sparse. 

“Do you think Shadis is going to sound the flare any time soon?” she asks. “Or do you think this is another one of those patience exercises?”

They’re in the forest today, high up in the trees, for one of their more intensive training tasks. They were told to spread out and wait until they saw the signal, then return to base. It sounded simple enough when Shadis explained it to them, easy even, but most of them know that when Shadis is involved nothing is ever going to be as simple as it seems. 

He’s fun that way. 

“It could be,” Krista says, eyes scanning the horizon. “We’ve never had to camp out in the trees before so maybe he’s trying to prepare us for being on watch all night.”

Ymir hums. That would make sense. For the people looking to join the survey corps it’s the kind of thing that would come in handy in the long run. But for everyone else, especially those whose ambitions lie with the military police, it’s a stupid waste of time. 

Krista sighs and leans against the trunk of the tree they’re perched in. Her watchful gaze softens a bit and she looks up at Ymir in the branch slightly above her. She smiles the way she always does at Ymir, like the sight of her alone is cause for happiness. 

Ymir ignores the way it makes her stomach twist. She clears her throat. “It’ll be dark soon,” she says. “And cold. We should probably figure out what we’re going to do.”

Krista looks unhappy for a brief second, as if something Ymir has said has disappointed her. “You’re right,” Krista says, expression clearing. “But it’s not like we’ve never spent the night together before. Maybe it’ll even be fun.”

And Ymir doesn’t want to explore where that thought takes her so she hops down to straddle the branch, swinging her legs, and starts to go through her supply bag. 

“Depends on what your idea of fun is, I guess.” They have enough supplies to last them for at least the night and if worst comes to worst, she can always find one of their classmates and borrow stuff from them. They’re all sequestered in the trees somewhere so they shouldn’t be too hard to find should something happen. 

“Spending time with you is fun,” Krista says. Ymir pauses, sees Krista stretch her arms over her head from the corner of her eye, sees the way her clothes stretch tight over her body as she does. The light from the setting sun makes her skin look warmer, gives her pale hair a reddish glow. It’s...overwhelming. 

Ymir’s lips tighten. Krista is so nice and so beautiful and so, so wrong about her it hurts. 

“If you say so,” Ymir says finally. “I can take first watch if you want. Wouldn’t want you to miss too much of your beauty sleep.”

“Ymir,” Krista says, so softly. And Ymir knows she’s looking at her with her big eyes and heart shaped face, feeling all sympathetic and caring.  _ Concerned _ . “Look at me.”

And Ymir can’t refuse. She looks and Krista meets her gaze, level, even though she’s standing below her. There’s something regal about her suddenly that Ymir’s never noticed before, at least not consciously. A lesser person might even be intimidated.

“I do like spending time with you,” Krista says after a moment. “And I’d appreciate it if you’d believe me instead of pretending my opinion doesn’t matter to you.”

Ymir blinks, surprised. She’s heard Krista tell people off before, of course she has, but never so directly. It’s sobering. And it makes Ymir immediately feel guilty for making Krista think that her opinion doesn’t matter. That isn’t what she intended at all. 

She’s still getting used to the fact that her words affect other people, especially the people she actually likes. 

She flounders for a moment, aware that she probably looks like an idiot, but finally thinks of something resembling a sentence. “Krista, I’m-”

“It’s fine,” Krista says. “I know you didn’t mean it. Just remember for next time, yeah?”

She drops down onto her branch and pats the space next to her. She smiles again, smaller than before but present all the same. “Now how about we tell scary stories while we wait for that flare, hm? It’s not like there are any real titans out here anyway.”

Ymir stares at her, confused and charmed and feeling so so stupid. But she jumps down after a minute, unable to resist Krista -  _ never _ able to resist her - and sits next to her in the fading daylight. 

“Alright, you asked for it, princess,” she says, getting comfortable. Krista leans into her, eyes on the horizon, and Ymir can’t help but smile. “Once upon a time there was an old, dirty house…”

_______

Things get better after that. They gradually talk more, Ymir makes it a point to be as dry and cynical as possible to everyone else except for Krista, and things, generally, seem to be working out. Training gets harder. Titan attacks become more common. But Krista is a constant source of warmth and comfort and Ymir will be damned if she does anything to lose her. 

It’s not emotion, she tells herself at night, desperately ignoring the arousal that moves through her. It’s survival.

_______

“You smell,” Krista says. Ymir looks up from her knees in surprise. It’s not often that Krista is so blunt, especially when it involves something as personal as hygiene. 

“What?”

Krista holds up a towel and a bar of soap. “You had to do laps today and you didn’t shower.” She shrugs. “You smell. Mikasa complained.”

Ah, that explains it. Leave it to Mikasa to be insulting as possible and Krista to try to fix it. Typical.

“Mikasa can go fuck herself,” Ymir mutters. She eyes the towel and soap. It’s not that she doesn’t  _ want _ to shower, just that it would take so much energy. She can already feel the exertions of the day catching up with her, and the bruises from her gear starting to settle into her skin. If she moves now, the soreness will only make itself more known. And her bed is so  _ soft _ . And she just wants to be left alone dammit. 

Krista doesn’t lower her arms and, for a second, something in her expression hardens. 

“I share a bed with you,” she says. “And I’d like to sleep without bits of tissue stuck up my nose.” She drops the towel and soap onto Ymir’s lap, raises an eyebrow, challenging.

Something wakes up in Ymir’s chest, like a wolf’s prey instinct. 

“So,” Krista continues, “should I go fuck myself too, or-”

“You haven’t showered yet either,” Ymir blurts out. She’s gratified by the flash of surprise on Krista’s face. Fucking princess. Ymir smirks. “So...what? I stink but you smell like roses? That doesn’t add up.”

She wants to scare Krista off, intimidate her or anger her until she’s too scared or pissed off to bother her anymore. 

_ Alone. Alone is what’s best. Other always hurt you. Even the pretty ones _

Krista, unfortunately, only takes it in stride. 

“I can join you then,” she says, as if Ymir hadn’t just told her to fuck off and let her be gross in peace. 

Krista reaches up to her bunk, over Ymir’s head. For a second, Ymir gets a glance of Krista’s stomach as she stretches for her towel. She’s got a tan line just under her belly button. Ymir gets the strangest urge to scratch her nails across it.

“No use in both of us wasting hot water.” Krista’s face appears again and she tugs at the hem of her shirt, pulling it back in place. If she knew Ymir was staring, there’s nothing in her face that gives it away, just the same, faint smile. She nods her head towards the door. “Coming?”

Krista starts walking. 

It seems only natural to follow her.

So Ymir does. 

The showers are really not intended for thorough washing. The room is basically a roofless shack, erected behind the sleeping cabins, with a divider down the center to separate genders. The water that comes out of the spout is warm at best, and freezing cold at worst. And of course the pressure is pretty much nonexistent. 

Nothing gets you in the militaristic mindset like a shower not even fit for a dog.

But it does make sense to shower together. They’re certainly not the only ones who do it, but going so late might look suspicious. If anyone was inclined to gossip - which mostly everyone is, even their instructors - they’ be giving them pretty good fodder.

What’s even more baffling is that Krista definitely knows this, and yet she insisted on coming anyway. 

And as annoyingly perfect as Krista is, Ymir doesn’t want her to smudge her reputation on her account. 

“I’ll wait here if you want to go first,” she says when they get to the door. She studiously avoids Krista’s face. “I promise I’ll shower if it’ll make you shut up but you don’t have to come in with me or anything.”

It’s an obvious out. Maybe too obvious, because Krista plows right through it.

“And miss out on getting to babysit you?” Krista laughs. “Yeah right.” She brushes past Ymir and walks through the door. Ymir catches it before it swings back in her face, sighs, and walks through.

This is so stupid.

“I’m just saying that people are going to-”

She stops.

Krista is standing by the spray, one hand out to test the water, the other wrapped around her elbow. It’s an unseasonably cold night for August, and even from the doorway Ymir can see the gooseflesh on Krista’s arms, the tops of her thighs.

Because she’s already naked.

Ymir tries desperately not to stare, tries desperately not to focus on how fucking  _ tiny _ Krista is. Bird boned.

Krista, fortunately, isn’t looking at her, but at the sky. 

“I’ve got to remember to come out here after sunset more often,” she says and, finally, looks at Ymir. Her lips are curved into a faint smile, and her eyes are so pale Ymir wonders how she’s not blind with all the time they spend in the sun. “The water’s actually warm for once.”

Ymir blinks, keeps her eyes closed for a few seconds longer than usual to clear her head, then starts to strip off her clothes. It’s just a shower, it shouldn’t make the urge to sink her fingers into Krista’s hips so strong.

“No one’s used it since this afternoon,” she says, forcing herself to speak. She tosses her clothes onto one of the benches by the far wall and walks to the water. 

“That explains it,” Krista says. She steps under the spray. Her hair turns darker as it gets wet and plasters to her scalp. She brushes it out of her eyes and sighs, happy. 

Ymir forces herself to move. She’s overly conscious of her limbs, so her movements feel more awkward than usual. She gets to the spray, then, careful not to get too close to Krista, steps under.

She can’t help the sudden moan that slips out of her. The water feels  _ amazing _ . 

Krista laughs. “I told you a shower would feel good.”

“Shut up,” Ymir mutters, keeping her eyes on the ground. It’s hard since Krista is so close. And even though Krista’s so small, it feels like her presence takes up the entire shower, edging Ymir out of the spray and making her shiver with cold. 

Apparently Krista notices because she grabs Ymir’s hand and pulls her closer, so they’re nearly pressed together. “Don’t be stubborn,” she says. She rubs the bar of soap between her hands until they’re full of bubbles then reaches up and runs them down Ymir’s arms. “You never let anyone help you,” she says. She looks up at Ymir from under her lashes, her gaze determined and earnest. Ymir feels pinned to the spot. “Let me.”

The kiss, when it comes, is inevitable. Ymir isn’t certain if Krista reaches up or if she leans down or both happens at the same time but suddenly their lips are pressed together and they’re kissing. And it feels like the most natural thing in the world. Like they’ve been doing this forever.

Of course, Ymir’s done this a lot in her nightly fantasies, but she never thought it would actually happen. 

Ymir breathes in hard through her nose to stave off the sudden lightheadedness and Krista smiles against her, then takes a step back, apparently sensing her need for air. She places a hand against Ymir’s chest, over her heart, and grins up at her. There are droplets of water glistening in her eyelashes and Ymir can count all of her teeth with how wide her grin is. 

She’s fucking radiant. 

“That’s your way of helping?” Ymir asks. It comes out sounding more aggressive than she means it, but Krista only laughs.

“I didn’t hear you complaining.”

Ymir shrugs. It’s not the heat of the shower that makes her face heat. And she’s confused as to why Krista wants to kiss her at all, really, but… Why ruin a good thing? Especially when good things happen so rarely these days. 

“I didn’t hear you complaining either,” she says finally. 

Krista shakes her head. “You won’t.”

And that’s all the permission Ymir needs to kiss her again.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing for this pairing. I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
